Chinese Customs — Daily Rituals, Greeting Etiquette, and Table Manners
Since the Zhou Dynasty (1046 BC — 256 BC), a complete etiquette system had been set and well inherited, including auspicious ceremonies like Birth Celebrations, Wedding Rites, grief rituals like Funeral Traditions, worship rituals, and customs regarding daily lives.
Confucianism, the dominant philosophy in the history of China, values hierarchy and rituals and considers them as the foundation of a civilized and stable society and the means of showing one's decency and virtue.
Today, many of these rules are not as strict and complicated as before; however, some are still followed on important occasions and are considered representative of good manners.
Chinese Customs and Table Manners on Painting Wen Hui Tu that Presents the Feast of Scholars, by Emperor Zhao Ji (1082 — 1135) — Taipei Palace Museum
Daily Rituals — Walking and Sitting
Walking Rituals
In ancient China, while walking with someone with higher status or from an older generation, one should lower head, bend down, and walk a little bit behind them.
If three people walk together, the superior or elder one should be in the middle, which is considered honorable and safer.
One should bow down and walk fast using smaller steps when passing by an elder or a superior.
Except for the emperor, other people wouldn't walk in the middle of roads or stand in the middle of a door; they were supposed to walk or stand on one side.
When walking in residential areas, it is not polite to keep looking around.
Nowadays, these requirements are not strictly applied unless on important or official occasions.
Walk Rituals on the Painting of Emperor Guangwu of Han (5 BC — 57 AD), By Artist Yan Liben (601 — 673) — Boston Museum of Fine Arts
Sitting Etiquettes and Seat Rules
In Chinese etiquettes, the seating order is an essential representative of hierarchy, which is still widely, even strictly, applied in China today in family and business dinners.
Everyone should be sitting in an appropriate position at dining tables or other gatherings based on their titles, ranks, or age.
If someone doesn’t know the exact position, they should wait and follow the host’s lead.
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The best seat is the one that faces the east or the door;
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Hosts usually sit facing the west;
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The second-best seat for guests is the one that faces south;
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Seats that face the north or back to doors are usually the positions for juniors.
Gathering of Court Ladies, Painted by Artist of the Tang Dynasty (618 — 907) — Taipei Palace Museum
Chinese Greeting Etiquettes — Kowtow, Bow, and Fist and Palm Salute
Kowtow
Kowtow is an ancient ritual (abandoned in 1912) to show the highest respect by kneeling on the ground and bowing down.
It had been used only for people to worship heaven and earth, deities, emperors, superior officials, parents, and ancestors.
The only exception that kowtows to people of the same age and social status is in the Traditional Chinese Wedding Ceremony when the new couple kowtows each other to show their deep respect and trust.
In ancient China, there were nine types of kowtow ceremonies, with different names and movements, based on the occasions, age, gender, and social status of people involved in the rituals.
Kowtow Pottery Figurine of the Tang Dynasty (618 — 907) — Shaanxi Academy of Archaeology (Photo by Dongmaiying)
Bow
Bow, in Chinese Yi Li or Zuo Yi, includes etiquettes that people bow while having their hands folded in front in different ways.
Based on people's social status, age, and gender, there are seven bow rituals in history.
Today, however, the simplest Zuo Yi gesture is good enough, as well as nodding, smiling, and handshaking.
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Bow or Yi Li of Man and Woman of the Same Age and Social Status, Picture from TV Show "Dream of the Red Chamber".
Fist and Palm Salute
The Fist and Palm Salute, or Bao Quan, is a type of Bow Ritual (or Yi Li), with the fist's right hand covered by the left hand.
It originated in the military when people held weapons while showing respect to others. Hence, always use the left hand to cover the right hand that holds weapons.
Later, it became a salute ritual among martial artists and is now typical for everyone.
Read More About Modern Greetings — Say Hello in Daily Life and Written Letters
Good Table Manners and Dining Etiquette in China
In ancient China, the number of dishes was restricted based on people's social status and age, but people with higher status or older could award their dishes to others.
Gradually, with the development of agriculture, the restriction was abolished.
However, some specific table manners have been applied throughout history.
Today, in a big everyday Chinese meal, dishes are usually placed on the table together, but they are also served in order: cold dish, hot dish, entree, soup, pastry, dessert, and fruit.
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Following the host's lead, people should be sitting in an appropriate position at dining tables or other gatherings, based on their status and age.
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Eating or drinking should be led by people with higher status, older age, or the host; it's not polite for other people to start earlier than them.
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The heads of fish should be facing the most important and honorable guest.
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Always use public chopsticks or spoons to take food.
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When eating with a group of people, it's not OK to only eat from one or two dishes, nor to pick food far away, no matter how much one loves them.
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It's not polite to blend the soup of a dish with rice in front of the host because it implies that the host didn't provide enough good food.
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It is also considered impolite to eat too fast, put too much food in the mouth, or sigh; talking with other people when food is in the mouth is considered rude as well.
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Chopsticks are used for eating dishes, and spoons should be used for drinking soups.
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It is not polite to lick chopsticks or use them to hit bowls.
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Do not insert chopsticks on food, since this is the means used to worship the deceased people.
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Hosts and younger people shouldn’t finish or leave the table first.
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After eating, it is nice for guests to compliment the host, collect dishes and leftovers, and hand them to servants; they could stop if the host told them it is unnecessary.
Chinese Drinking Culture and Toasting Etiquettes
Nowadays, drinking culture—whether it involves tea, alcohol, or other beverages—is considered an essential part of Chinese table manners and an efficient way to socialize.
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Hosts should pour wine for guests based on their status and ages. If there is no significant difference between guests, then they should pour clockwise.
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During toasting, people usually position their cups slightly lower than others, unless they are older or hold a superior rank at work.
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A person could be toasted by many, but it is not customary to toast to many people at once, except for the oldest or the most important guest.
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When toasting individuals with higher status or older age, people should stand up, bow slightly, and face the person they are toasting—unless they are told this is unnecessary.
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For refilling one's cup, it is polite to pour for elders, leaders, and other essential guests first, using two hands.
Glass Alchohol Cup of the Tang Dynasty (618 — 907) — Hunan Museum (Photo by Dongmaiying)
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In Chinese table manners, the toasting order is essential as well.
Firstly, the host would toast to elders, superiors, or the most important guest, and then to other guests. Usually, important guests would reciprocate the toast to the host.
Afterward, the rest people could start toasting each other.
If there is no especially important person, then the toasting proceeds clockwise.
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One should always say something nice when proposing a toast and use two hands to hold the wine glass.
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If an elder or important guest toasts to you, you should stand up and express your gratitude.